Teaching Spelling

Sure, we could learn all kinds of spelling words and follow some age-appropriate program, but it's more fun than that. To learn spelling in this house, we pull out the Scrabble board. Both sides of the family are Scrabble maniacs. At family gatherings with my side, the Scrabble board sits and waits for anyone to make a move. Quick game to 50 points while the kale steams? Totally. Brutal 500 point scoring competition? Yes please! This is something that the Little-Bugs have watched parents and extended family enjoy since they could form memory and they are thrilled when they get to join in.

So it's almost a ritual initiation, as well as a spelling lesson...

But let's go back and cover some of the "Hows" of this spelling method.

Get a spare set of Scrabble or Bananagrams tiles - make sure it is actually spare so that tiles can get lost without impacting the family game set. Set your child up with the tiles, face up, on a tray and see what they can spell without your assistance. Brother-Bug made me laugh out loud when he deftly pulled "CRUD" out of his pile. Talk about the different words you can see. If they start to get frusterated, put together a good two-letter "starter" (like RA) and ask them what letters they can add to make a word.

Brother-Bug contemplates his Banangram options.

Play games of Banangrams - play next to each other so they can spell, you can help, and they can watch the process that an adult goes through to make the word grid. They will also grain new vocabulary this way - double score! Play a combined game with one word grid, working together to find the silliest (grossest, biggest...) words and make them fit.

Let them figure out correct spellings and make mistakes. Help them find the correct answer, but don't provide it right away. In a recent game we went through several permutations to get to the correct spelling of "OUT". English is so hard for spelling - with silent letters, dipthongs, and other abnormalities galore. I truly believe that just playing the games makes in-roads into this complex language of ours in ways that standard spelling programs miss. And it's super fun, which makes the "lesson" more effective.

Get out The Scrabble Board. When you start out with a new speller, have them team up with a grown-up until they want their own set of tiles.

My dad teaching Brother-Bug the ropes...just like he taught me. And I am an awesome speller...

 Play open tiles - everyone helps everyone else spell, no secrets. The new speller gets to see each person's way of finding words in the mish-mash of letters. To that end, verbalize your process; talk about what words you can spell, what you can almost spell, etc.

Go for a combined score instead of individual scores so that everyone is contributing instead of competing. For an added learning bonus, adding up the word scores is a great math lesson. Adding, doubling, trippling...

Have the adults play on high-speed so the kids don't get bored. Grown-up Scrabble players can get really bogged down in the rearranging of their letters and the many possible words - which one is the best? where can it fit? An adult Scrabble turn can take... ... ... forever. Adults should spell words fairly quickly and move on.

With any of these games, stop when the enjoyment and attention of the new speller wanes. Keep it fun and fresh and special. There is no reason that you have to play to the last tile.

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Brother-Bug loves that he has been initiated into our world of Scrabble and Bananagrams. Playing with the grown-ups until late at night (9:45!) really made his day. Sister-Bug enjoyed drawing tiles for me and working on counting up to 3. Papa-Bug and I enjoyed having the Scrabble board out for a while. Everyone wins. Everyone learns.

Happy Spelling!

A Busy Time and A Good Read

I'm not writing a lot for the next month or so. Besides the usual onslaught of life, chores, homeschooling, and pregnancy, we have family in town (parked in an RV behind my house), we just spend almost a week working up at Breitenbush, and now we are getting ready for our week out at the Oregon Country Fair.

I posted some pictures from Fair last year - it's always a mad thing to prepare for. Six days of camping, wandering, partying, parenting, and other mayhem. It's the week that most of our plans and goals revolve around every year. I can't wait to get out there, get my wings on, and have a blast.

In other news, the blogging conversation continues. A while ago, MommyMan wrote about his son's desire to wear a dress and I responded. I was completely thrilled to read a recent post from the MommyMan, in which his son dons a dress and feels fabulous - as all kids should, regardless of the clothing they wear. It's a great post and I will certainly admit to getting all choaked up while reading it.

I guess it ties into our trip to Country Fair...if only because I have to remember to get Brother-Bug's new green taffeta dancing & cocktail dress clean for the weekend...

Re-Thinking TV Turn-Off Week

Inspired by our local library, we committed to turning off our TV and video (computer) games for a week. We made it through with little complaining from the kids. We nixed movies and computer time and, since we don't do much of those anyway, we hardly noticed.

But the concept of TV-Turn-Off Week is outdated and needs to be re-invented for this brave new screen-happy world. Patents work from home - on computers, phones, & iPads - and accessing of videos for work and education is normal. We have iPhones and iPads that house our communications and music, as well as games and movies and all else. In our house there is a digital picture frame. Cameras are all screen based. Brother-Bug has a hand-me-down iPod that has games on it. We have a TV, but no cable or conventional TV access. We use Netflix and library DVDs for our viewing enjoyments. These kids have seen actual commercial television maybe 2-3 times. We have no video game console, though Papa-Bug does have some games on his computer that are video game-ish. I use the computer not only for writing and work, but to also access a lot of our educational materials.

Where does this leave TV-Turn Off Week? I love the idea, but obviously it's time to re-evaluate how it fits in a world so littered with screens. When I was little we hung a sign on the TV and that was it. The computer with games like pong(!) was in Dad's home office and we just couldn't use it for the week. It didn't bother us that Dad did keep using it for work - screens weren't in such heavy use that we really thought about it.

How to explain the difference between media use as mind-dulling entertainment, a photography project, a writing project...? Kids are on computers daily in schools - how does that relate?
Can we even begin to contemplate turning off the TV when the ease of screen entertainment assails us from so many other quarters? Or an alternate view - does turning off the TV really make a big difference, when there are so many other screens we access?

Over at Adbusters, they have renamed it Digital Detox Week, and I think they have some good ideas, but it's hard to figure out a good way to relate these ideas directly to kids. Ironically, one of their ideas is based on an online video....

I've been turning this over in my head for almost two weeks now, and I don't know what the answer or balance is. Going totally screen free is not practical or possible anymore. No solution or balance has jumped out at me. Thank goodness I have a year to think it though and prepare for next year!

A Co-Sleeping Family

Clearly these two beauties were made for snuggling.

Honestly, we never meant to co-sleep with our kids. Our babies, definitely. But I envisioned toddler years when we would lovingly move our child into a toddler bed, reclaiming our bedroom for our adult lives. I envisioned a preschooler joining us in bed in the mornings, cuddling down between us for a quick connection before we got up.

And when I was pregnant with Sister-Bug we made all attempts to move Brother-Bug into his own bed. It lasted about... 3 months and then he was right back in with us, limbs wrapped around the nearest parent. Now, at 5 1/2, he has no more notion of sleeping in his own bed than he did as an infant.

This works for our family.

Co-sleeping might not work for all families. I am blessed with a co-sleeping history (me, 2 parents, 3 siblings, one bed...cuddles which lasted into my early teens) and value the physical comfort I still have with my siblings, a comfort that I attribute partially to co-sleeping. Papa-Bug and I both love to snuggle, and neither kid is given to overmuch kicking and flailing. We have a big bed.

This picture might not work for your family, and the idea of sleeping with your child (or even teenager!) makes a lot of people uncomfortable. That's okay. I don't need anyone to be comfortable with our sleeping arrangements except for us in this bed.

There are drawbacks, but they are few and far-between. My co-sleeping toddler still wants and needs me when she goes to sleep - nap or otherwise - and so I find myself laying down in bed when I might be doing other things. It forces my sweetheart and I to get creative about intimacy - and this is something that worries lots of people. But hey - it's my romance and not your business. We will leave it there. But the drawbacks are far outweighed by the benefits...

There are lots of reasons we love co-sleeping, and I thought I would share some of the reasons I didn't fully think about when we started our snuggling adventure.

Tired Papa and his Little Fairy

*Its easy with a newborn. Tiny babies are notorious for keeping their parents going around the clock. But if I am curled up in bed with my baby in the crook of my arm, I can doze while they nurse, contemplate the heavens, or whatever else it is they do in the night. I firmly believe that my newborn is safer next to me than in a crib. I can feel and respond to sleep changes at a moments notice. Baby can hear my heartbeat and my breathing, and continue to learn these things from me if reminders are needed. I am aware of this person, even in my deepest sleep.

But what about rolling onto the baby? someone always asks. Well, I did that. We were visiting my Dad with 9-week old Brother-Bug. The bed was on a slight angle toward the baby's side. I was exhausted and on a three hour jet-lag, which changed how deeply I was asleep. Gravity pulled me over onto the baby. As it turns out, even a sleeping baby doesn't like to be squished! It turns out that I wake up when I roll into a squirming 9 pound bump in the bed. No harm done. Lesson learned.

(Of course, if you or someone in your bed is under a sedative influence - alcohol, sleep medication, etcetera, this is a different equation and the baby should not be near that person. The other side of the non-influenced parent or it's own bed near the adult bed is safe.)

After a few months of Brother-Bug sleeping and nursing through the nights I stopped fully waking to nurse him. We would switch sides, adjust, comfortably latch, and fall back asleep. Same deal with changing diapers, and later helping Sister-Bug pee in the potty during the night - all things I did in a state of semi-slumber, hardly breaking my sleep cycle.


*Babies sleep through the night sooner I believe, because they aren't getting woken up and removed from their bed to eat at various intervals. While they are learning their circadian rhythm, they don't know that it's time to sleep when it is dark. So once you get them out of bed they are ready to play. If they stir, and go right back to nursing, they learn quickly to sleep when it is dark.

*It's easier and safer when a baby or child is sick. If I sleep skin-to-skin with a feverish baby, I can

Me and the fat Sister-Bug - newborn napping.

monitor their fever while I doze (I never sleep fully if my baby or kid is sick). I can keep them comfortable. They don't choke on their vomit because I am right there to help them with Mt. Vesuvius. I've been known to get a toddler pointing off the bed to barf on the floor when both of us were asleep at first gurgle - so honed are my Mama-reflexes from sleeping with my babies. If my kids were in their own beds we would be up and down all night while we checked on them. I wouldn't always be there to catch the vomit and reassure a scared and uncomfortable little person immediately. I wouldn't know if a fever suddenly spiked. And I wouldn't get nearly as much rest, which keeps me healthy and makes me less likely to get sick.


*Likewise, we are there for immediate nightmare relief. No wailing child in the night - we are able to gently guide them back to reality and settle them safe in our arms where all is cozy.

*We have less night-time potty accidents because we can respond to the movements our kids make when they need to pee. They learn from our awareness and they quickly get to a point of meeting that need for themselves (often with a parent to go with) in the night.


And the most important thing.

*They are little, ours to snuggle close, for such a precious and short time. We watch them sleep, we hold them safe and close, we listen to their dreams, and marvel at how long their limbs have grown. I spend about a third of the hours in a day cuddled with my children in our big bed. We rest out bodies and brains and re-connect our spirits. We reach out for one another in our sleep, trusting that Love is right there.

Someday I will revel in a bed of just me and my husband, or even (!) just me. But right now I am laying down nursing my daughter, looking forward to a warm little boy who will snuggle me up while I read the next chapter of The Wind In The Willows to us. And I can't imagine anywhere else I would rather be.

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Read my recent Cowbird Story about the Magical Giggle - the story that inspired this post. 

And there he will cuddle all night.

A Birthday Banner

Adding a festive birthday note to our space!

For Brother-Bug's first birthday I dug deep into the scrap bin and made The Birthday Banner. This banner has been hung at all our family birthdays since then, and will continue to be hung as we all grow and change. When Sister-Bug was born, one of Brother-Bug's jobs was to hang the banner with help from one of his birth attendants.

A quick Google search reveals that similar banners are between $10-$90. However, if you have basic sewing skills, a banner is very easy to make.

The middle three flags - so scrappy!

Our banner has white felt for the flags. I cut triangles about 6 inches wide and 9 inches tall.

Each flag is bound in bias tape - I used the scraps from my bias tape box. You will need about 9 yards of bias tape.

I added another stripe of ribbon, tic-rack, or other trim to each flag, following the line of the bias tape. Again, I used scraps I had in my trim box - another 8-9 yards total.

There are 16 flags on our banner. Three have star appliqués, one to start, one between the two words, and one to finish. The other thirteen have the letters of happy birthday zig-zagged on. Here is where the scrap bin is particularly important. The scraps that form the letters are our scraps. Here is Brother-Bug's baby sun hat... There is Papa-Bug's favorite Hawaiian shirt that tore... This used to be a skirt of Mama's... And so on. I cut the letters freehand and used some fixative so they wouldn't wiggle as I zig-zagged them on.

Close up of the binding construction.

I found some gold star buttons in the button box and sewed them on various flags, putting the big one in the middle.

Finally, I took a wide ribbon (2-3 inches) that was about 5 yards long and carefully bound it over the tops of the flags and getting all the flags in a row. Now the banner is basically complete. I sewed long lengths of 1/8 inch ribbon on each end to tie it up.

Our banner is now into its 5th year, and 15th birthday (or somewhere around that). It's still lovely. The kids adore it. Papa-Bug and I like to sneak the night before a birthday and put it up so the birthday person sees it first thing at breakfast.

It's one of those little things that makes a birthday extra special in our house.

Happy, Merry, and Bright

A Holiday with two little ones leaves very little time for writing. Multiple holidays and family birthdays with two little ones leave even less time.

Somewhere there are pictures of carefully crafted gifts...and someday I will post them, possibly along with instructions. Somewhere there are Simple Saturday drafts, about simplifying these family holidays. But we were just too busy for simplicity.

All that said, I hope you had a Happy Solstice, a Merry Christmas, Bright Hannukah, and Joyous anything else you celebrate at this time of year.

We did.

Blessings and Peace to All.

Mindful Monday: Relishing My 4-Year Old

Brother-Bug is turning FIVE this coming Sunday. What the hell? It truly seems like minutes since I was huge and pregnant and wondering who was kicking the side till it ached.

Now he is big, competent, opinionated, amazing, exasperating, charming... and so darn grown-up.

My mindful focus this week is to really notice my 4-year old. Because I know in a few minutes I will be mindfully noticing my six sixteen-year old.

Who: Me
What: Loving the last few 4-year old moments
Why: Because he is getting so bi so fast.
How: Being in the moment with him. Preparing and noticing to write his birthday letter - I write each kid a letter on their birthday every year, detailing what I think of them, how much I love them, how they have grown, etc. - and focusing on this a little in advance is always good. Also, the kids and I will be taking the train to see Brother-Bug's God-Mommies in Seattle. It's a surprise trip, complete with treasure hunt and a first train trip !!!! Just the reality of getting out of the daily grind to do something so lavishly special with Brother-Bug (and Sister too, of course) will help me focus on him.

Brother-Bug on his Birthday Beach Trip, just about a year ago.

Mindful Monday: Back To Just Us

Sister-Bug with Muzzy on a beach walk.

One of our major summer events is the six-week visit of my dad and his wife. Once they parked their giant RV at a trailer park for the summer, but when we moved we made sure we got enough yard space to share. Today is the last day of their visit.

It has been a wonderful summer. The kids have been in ecstasies over the backyard grandparents. It's nice to have a second set of adults around. Sister-Bug has really gotten close with them, which is so good since they live on the East Coast the rest of the year.



There is going to be some serious sadness in the land if my little people when the RV disappears around the corner later today. This Monday I'm focusing on getting us back into the swing of being a family of four, and helping the kids with the big feelings this is going to generate.

Without further ado, Mindful Monday today...

Who: The whole family
What: Re-group as a small nuclear family
Why: To ease and support some of the shock of losing two such loving playmates.

Puz and Brother-Bug starting a major excavation project.

How: Exert a lot of patience with the kids while they process this sad event. Do some work around getting ready for Winter Solstice (we may be a little early on that, but since it is the next time we see Muzzy and Puz, it might help to focus on the future). Get ready for a family camping trip this weekend - get everything together and focus the kids on camping fun. Enjoy and appreciate the things we did with Muzzy and Puz, make lists of favorite moments, make a scrapbook...

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I missed Mindful Monday and Wordless Wednesday last week. With the last week of grandparents, siblings coming into town, canning blueberries, and everything else, the blog slipped through my fingers. Life is like that.