Simple Saturday: The Toy Clean Out

I cleared out the play room last weekend, and have been watching the kids at play in their space since. The pleasure they have had in their space has been amazing to me, yet not surprising. I know that getting rid of excess always feels good for most people, and my kids are no different from me on that attribute.

It was necessary that something drastic change in their room to make space for the refurbished kitchen set my dad made when I was little. I wanted the set in there partly because it's is a beautiful (if ragged after years of play) handmade wooden kitchen that their Grandad created. I have wonderful memories of feasts and fantasies passing through that kitchen while my sister and I played. Additionally I wanted it available so that the Little Bugs could have access to some of that deep, creative play that happen with such a toy.

So I seized the opportunity. The kitchen set was almost ready - after many years of storage it needed some touch ups. The kids went over to my mom's house to help her finish and I tackled their toys.

It was not as big a job as I had anticipated. It was reassuring to know that we have done a good job of keeping a low-ish number of toys coming in the house. But still.

I used the Simplicity Parenting guidelines for clearing space - as I could remember them in the moment of cleaning. I altered them somewhat to fit best with my family's needs and desires.

I got rid of...

Part of the thrift store donation.

Duplicates - when we had two VW bug toys, two memory games, eight stuffed bears, and so on.

Broken toys - trucks missing tires, dolls missing heads, etcetera.

Random Gimcracks - fake teeth from the doctor, extra bouncy balls from a quarter machine, little animal shaped erasers from a past Easter party... You know what little stuff I'm talking about.

Stuff No One Plays With - a set of army men that had never left the box, some of those eight stuffed bears, a set of jacks, and more.

Of course, this is only a partial list. 

I kept new Birthday Presents and all the 'Cars' toys. I kept one noise-toy per kid - a special digger from Brother-Bug's God Mommies and a set of musical flowers that Sister-Bug adores.

The feeling in their room was palpable after I moved the mountain of stuff out to the car. Even though most of the toy storage us not in sight as you walk in the kids room, we could feel the difference as we entered.

All told we took about 5-6 grocery bags and one large trash bag of stuff out. This was probably around a third of the toys. The trash was trashed. The usable items I took immediately to the thrift store, so no little people saw what I was getting rid of.

When the kids got home, I steeled my nerves for sadness. After all, there were a lot less toys than they were used to. But neither has fussed at all, and the available toys are getting a lot more action. Their room is easier to clean up as well.

This has inspired me (and Papa-Bug) to strike at much of our own stuff and to tackle the present giving and receiving issue. The Holidays are just around the corner and I would hate to have all my clearing work undone by well-intentioned relatives.

Finally, I thought long an hard about including Brother-Bug in the process, but I'm glad I didn't. It would have been hard for both of us - he would have wanted to keep all the little bits of detritus that he doesn't realize I threw away. Eventually I am sure he will inventory his vehicles and find many missing, but so it goes.Without his input, I had the freedom to make choices I knew would benefit him. We told him in advance what I was going to be doing, and there were a couple of toys that he told me were really special to him - I kept those to honor his input.

For now, I'm going to enjoy the increased calm in the play room, and the little boy enjoying rediscovered toys and the new kitchen set. And mark down a major win for Simplicity.

Errands Re-Done

Ages ago I posted that our errand days was hellish and needed a makeover. I watched errands for a couple of weeks and contemplated how they happened and what restrictions already existed that I would have to work with.

The only major restrictions I found had to do with the day of the week, and the amount of time needed. Our food co-op is open on Thursday and Friday only, and that is where I do the bulk (that's a pun there...) of my shopping. I also needed enough time to do the three essentials - library, co-op, conventional grocery store - and maybe a little extra time for extra small errands - drop this off, get new shoes kind of thing - or a park stop, or ???

Okay, that part was easy. Harder was identifying where the specific issues were around the morass of errand day. It took a while to break it down, but I finally got it.

The first place of difficulty was trying to run errands over lunch time. Duh, right? But I always glibly thought I would pack a lunch, but even if I did (not often) there really wasn't a good place to eat and enjoy.

The other time issue is Sister-Bug's nap, which happens right after...lunch time of course! When I initially started errands with her on Friday morning, it got us home in time for Brother-Bug's resting time and she just slept in the car wherever whenever. But lately she has refused most car naps, and always woke up when I tried to snug her into the Ergo or sling for gocery shopping. So she would get home hungry and exhausted. Not pleasant.

On either side of errands I discovered more issues. Getting the books together, the menu prepared, the containers and bags ready for the co-op, and other extraneous details together (like a diaper bag maybe) actually takes almost as much time as running the actual errands. By trying to leave in the morning I wasn't leaving myself enough time to do the preparation necessary to make the errands work. By the time I got home from errands, I was too tired to think of cooking whatever I had put on the menu. Even if I left at 9 AM, the day was already shot when I got home with hungry, exhausted kids at 1 or 2. So I spent the rest of the day caring for them when I was just tired...and then having to cook dinner as well.

And my long day conicided with Papa-Bug getting home from his long week of work, both of us staring at each other across the table too blitzed to even converse coherently.

So, having put all of those pieces on the table in front of my face... Well, first I was baffled at how far out-of-what errands had actually gotten! The adjustments away from balanced had happened slowly, over a year, and I just hadn't quite caught up.

But I figured it out.

First I changed the time. Now we leave after Sister-Bug wakes up from her nap. We have all had lunch and I just keep some crackers or fruit in the car for a late afternoon pick me up. We are all fed and rested when we hit the road. I use the morning time to do some school work with Borther-Bug, pack for the errands, make the menu, and prep dinner. I get everything in the car while Sister-Bug is napping, so when she has woken and nursed we can hit the road. The un-sought benefit of this is that it restricts my time a little bit, so I try to do less. I assess my errand list and figure out what I can do another time, when I am out without the kids, or after Papa-Bug gets home from work, or if I even need to run that errand.

Next I realized that trying to cook something unique on errand day was just asking for headaches. So I planned out six menus and put them on a master list next to the menu plan. Now for errand day I just look ahead and see what's coming up. To make it onto the list it had to be something we liked enough to eat a lot, no matter what, and it had to take less than a half hour of active kitchen time to prepare. There are 6 weeks planned out and then I go back to the beginning of the list and run through it again.

I also changed the day. Now we go on Thursday instead of Friday, so I am not (as) blitzed when Papa-Bug gets home after the week's work, nor am I too blitzed if we have the opportunity to go out for dinner with friends or do something else fun. The un-sought benefit here is that I am not as close with the people who shop on Thursday at our co-op, so I spend less time socializing and shop a lot faster.

I called in my mom for support. She is out of town every other Thursday, but when she is in town I leave the kids with her after we go to the library. They all love the special play time together. I love grocery shopping by myself, and having them elsewhere gives me a little extra time to do some of those extraneous errands that take so much longer with two kids to load and un-load and cajole through the event.

Frequently Papa-Bug can meet us near the end of errands and get a ride home with us, maybe stopping at the last grocery store and shopping together.

And when we get home, dinner is already to go. Papa-Bug and I can connect and put the groceries away while the kids put away their new library books. The stress dissipates.

It took me a while to find all the puzzle pieces, let alone get them into place. But now that I have made such sweeping change, I'm surprised it took me so long. It's my reminder to closely examine my days now and then, to see how we can make them flow with better rhythm.

What can you fix in your schedule that feels out of whack?

Mindful Monday: Simplify, Simplify

Right now I am in the middle of reading Simplicity Parenting. Likely I will be posting a review and my personal thoughts on it soon. Until then, let me just say that the messages of Kim John Payne are really resonating with me, and backing up some ideas I already have had, leading where my instincts tell me to go.

When we moved I initiated a toy library/bank. I put about 1/4 or so of the kids toys in a big bin, intending to switch out toys as they looked for the missing toys or wanted something new.

To my surprise everyone, including me, forgot about the bin until recently. So far I am the only one who has remembered. I haven't mentioned it to the kids. Their room is so full of stuff that they haven't even noticed the missing toys.

This Monday I am committing to doing some of the reduction and clean out recommended by Payne in his book.

Who: Family-wide, everyone gets to play! (I'll be the one doing the majrity of the grunt work, however...)

What: Clean out and simplify the books, make a toy-simplification plan.

Why: Brother-Bug has so many books and toys that he is often too overwhelmed to play with them. There is too much choice. There is too much junk - the broken, the excessive, the repetitious. In the books...I pride myself on  an excellent selection of picture books that spans shelves and shelves and shelves. And mostly they live on the floor. There are just too many that we are threatening to permenently submerge under tidal waves of books (I will admit that I can think of worse ways to go...).

How: I have already started by sifting through the picture books in the living room. I have packed into boxes more than 2/3 of the books, leaving out classics and much adored books and ones that I think would be much adored if they ever got time. We went from 3 full shelves to a little less than one shelf. Most books I packed away, to come out again in the future. I will repeat this in the play-room, as well as on the grown-up shelves. There is at least one bookshelf in every room, except the bathroom.

As far as modifying the toy situation, I plan on sharing the ideas from Simplicity Parenting with Papa-Bug and making a plan of when and how we can reduce the toy mountain. I don't want to make a specific plan, because it needs to happen when the kids are not around. But happen it will!

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I'm feeling very inspired about simplifying the kids lives - and my life by extension. If things go the way I plan, I will have a whole series of posts about these endeavors and their results. I feel, deep in my bones, that there is too much stuff, too much drive, to much information, to much going, going, going to be a healthy adult. If I feel that way as an adult, how would it be to be a developing child? My heart shudders. So, simplification... Here we COME!!

Go! Go! Go! No...Slow Down.

We all do it. Every Mom, everywhere. We are so busy. We process so much. And yet... We don't need to do it all. There is, in fact, no way we will ever do it all. This has been a topic on a couple of other Mommy-blogs I read. We are so busy.

Mom-101 has two eloquent posts here and here. Hat's off to gainfully employed moms - I don't know how they do it. When I look at my week, I can't imagine trying to squeeze in a job as well! Oig.

Over at The Happiest Mom she writes about the importance of the "mom-reboot" and questions how important some of our tasks are. I love her frank writing style and go back there for post after post. I am strongly hinting that my "kids" get me her new book, The Happiest Mom, for Mother's Day.

This has given me a lot to think about. My thoughts on this are many and scattered - not at all ready for a post just yet. But it's in the works. But I need to prioritize...