Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Don't Apologize

One of the side consequences of always having our phones in our pockets is the inevitable apology when a call is missed. And, while it may be a trivial thing, it truly drives me a little nuts.

"Sorry I missed your call - I was helping my child _____ (learn to read, wash their hair, or ???)" 

Please don't apologize to me! You have called me back. You have voice mail. I am not more important that the job you are doing, the walk you are taking, the child you are parenting... And I wouldn't want to be. Instead, tell me how your day has been and what you have been up to. If I called you and you are my friend, I love you and your life and want to hear about how when I called you had just managed to sit down for the first time all day, with a good book, and nothing was getting you up... and I want to know how the book is. Or that your child was trying to swallow your house key. Or other details of your day and life...

But don't apologize for having a full, rich life that doesn't always get to the phone.

Do you apologize? Am I way off base here?


  1. I just implemented your "ringer off while with the family" policy.
    Wow, the response I got was fits of anger for me not being available to their every phone call whim.
    And it wasn't an emergency, and they do not have children or their children are all out of the house, and their schedule breaks seem to fall at our meal times, during shower rotations, work-from-home hours, and maybe a little disc golf session or Magic the Gathering battle was happening but I'm happier watching my family be who they are than listening to the same argument that you've been having with your boyfriend for 5,10+ years nor am I interested in the girlfriend who has been internet dating behind your back. Get rid of them then!
    I have nothing new to say except...sewing star shaped patches on my kids pants is WAY more awesome to report than how drunk you got this weekend!

    Dang! You got me going!

  2. Sorry! I got going and forgot to relate my rant to your post.

    I end up apologizing for these kinds of conversations that were missed.

    Yes, I'm tired of apologizing for these missed phone calls so I should stop that now. I have the power to do that, stop apologizing.

    Ok, enough said.
    Peace out!

  3. Seriously - once upon a time - in my memory even - there were no answering machines. And everyone survived just fine.

  4. Isn't that the beauty of the answering machine though? It's like we never forgot life without the answering machine, which was jump and get the phone because you didn't know who it was or if it was important. I'm all about the sending calls to voice mail, and I never apologize. That's what it's there for.

    I'm also adamant about turning the phone off when we are at a performance, movie, nice dinner, etc. If I can't answer it, then it should be off, not on silent. Even a vibrating phone can be disruptive.