Simple Saturday: Learning Gratitude

One of the best ways to keep life simple is to focus on being great full for what you have - the material and not-so-material. If I am grateful for my color pencils, I am less inclined to go sigh over additional art supplies. I am grateful that the kids are healthy and healing - that is so much more important than any new thing I need want.

How do we best convey this practice to our children? There is such a pervasive attitude of entitlement among American children, and I see it already in Brother-Bug. Our family does a couple of consistent things to try and focus our days on gratitude.

*We always say a blessing at dinner, sometime something as short as "May Peace on Earth begin in this family." to take a moment to focus on our good food and sitting together.

*During the meal we each say one or two things we are thankful for from the day. This is a great way for us all to check in about the day with a focus on the positive.

*Frequently (though not as consistently as I'd like) Brother-Bug and I tell each other our Three Best Things from the day as we cuddle at bedtime. While this isn't specifically "thankfuls", a focus on the good and positive from the day gets us pretty close. And it always reminds me of how lucky I am.

It's a blessing, a project, AND a decoration!

*For November we are making a long paper chain. We keep pre-cut strips of fall-colored construction paper in a jar on the table, for anyone to grab in the moment. On each link we write things we ate thankful for, whenever we think of them. At Thanksgiving dinner we will disassemble the chain and read each link. Some of the items on there are wonderfully idiosyncratic and bizarre. In the meantime, it's making a lovely Thanksgiving decoration. I have visions of digging the used and enjoyed paper strips into the Earth of our garden, to let the gratitude bless the dirt that grows our food. We will see about that.

*For myself, I find that saying Thanks to the Universe is an effective way of settling down an overactive imagination. I'm trying to convey this to Brother-Bug by asking him what he loves when he's feeling low. It's hard to remember to do this, but we're trying.

In this culture of excess and gimme-gimme, it's an uphill battle. I want to instill my children with the ability to see how blessed they are, even when things seem really bad. My hope is that this will build these pathways in our brains, making us look to gratitude even if times get truly tough. I want thankfulness and joy to sustain us.

I wonder how other families learn gratitude throughout their days?

Light a Candle, Say a Prayer

Today my guts are in a knot.

I got word that a dear child of my community was hit by a van and is in the ICU. Predictions are that her injuries are not life-threatening, thank all the Gods that might be listening.

This makes me doubly sure that I hug and squeeze my own sweet babies lots.

It makes me reflect on The Big Subjects.

I never imagined, when I delightedly anticipated the arrival of my son, how fraught with terror parenting actually is. Loss, sickness, accident, and catastrophe loom behind every shadow. Mostly I wend my way through our days without too much worry, but it's always there in the far back corners of my mind.

What if...

Sometimes they are just the silliest what ifs. Sometimes they are more realistic. Sometimes I see the narrow miss and my heart nearly stops. Sometimes I have to check and double check the rise and fall of that small, precious chest. Sometimes I can't sleep for dreadful dreams and imaginings.

If you are a parent you know what I am talking about.

My heart is with the parents, dear friends, in the ICU. I am praying that I am never there with any of my babies.

When I can't sleep I say grace and give thanks. Because whatever happens tomorrow, my kids and I have had today. Whatever happens in the morning, we are cuddling NOW. I hope that I can remember these moments of thankfulness when Grace might seem far away. I hope that I can remember that nothing and no one can take away my moments and memories and all the wonderful times I have already experienced as a parent.

So we pray...

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Take a moment now, before you navigate away, and say a prayer - send a wish - think a good thought - send some Grace to the parents who need it. Then go hug or kiss or text someone you are grateful for. You are so lucky.