When To Push

Brother-Bug is a cautious and fairly quiet guy. He would sit on the couch, reading to himself all day if he could. He is intensely uncomfortable in group activities and class situations. He also needs lots of encouragement do do things with his body. He is so very much in his head that active play is a huge leap for him - from thinking to moving.

I'm glad we Homeschool him so that he can do and learn within these challenges, becoming comfortable and competent at his own speed. Contradicting that is my feeling that I need to help him push his boundaries a little, help him to thrive outside his comfortable, book-lined groove.

We've tried art classes (a success for listening and following instructions) and ballet (it went okay, but it was really hard for both of us and he didn't get comfortable until his last class).

Enter swim lessons.

Brother-Bug is the shivering body on the left. He's heatedly debating with his teacher about jumping in...

I feel pretty strongly about learning to swim. Of all the activities we might choose to enroll our children in, swimming is the only one I can think of that very well might save their lives one day. Sister-Bug is also in swim lessons (of the baby, singing and splashing variety) and she loves them. The issue with her is the opposite of Brother-Bug - she won't wait to jump in. She just leaps.

But back to the reluctant child.

Know that swimming is a valuable life skill, I chose to push it. It meets the two other places I want to push a little also - group/class participation and physical activity - so it's a good deal all around.

But it's really hard to watch him. He wept through the better part of the first lesson. Papa-Bug and I watched with breaking hearts as he struggled through fear and resistance, trusting that the (vastly underpaid) young swim instructor would be gentle with our little boy's worries. We wondered if we were pushing too much. We gave him a sweet granola bar when he was done.

The second week of lessons he didn't want to go. We went anyway and he wasn't as resistant as the week before. And, wonder of wonders he did great! He even managed to blow some bubbles, which is a major accomplishment for him.

The (someday going to be) courageous swimmer...and his excellently patient teacher.

He did everything his instructors asked of him, except jumping in to the instructor's waiting hands. He didn't believe her when she promised to catch him. He jumped in holding her hands. He almost did his back floats all by himself. And we took him out for a donut afterward.

I hope he continues to flourish in these lessons, and that I continue to let him struggle just a little bit. I don't need him to be a joiner, and I don't need him to be a professional swimmer. I want him to know that he can push those boundaries - that it can be safe and even fun sometimes. And that there are occasionally donuts afterward.

Daily Haiku: October 6th

Baby is waking,
Sun begins to light the day,
I go to my work.

Wordless Wednesday: Golden Chantrelles in a Pan

September Kindergarten Review: Maps and Compasses

September was a certain 5-year old's birthday and we took a trip to Seattle to celebrate. His Godmommies live up there and we hadn't seen them in about six months. It happened to fit into his birthday weekend, so we planned it as a surprise. I also planned to do maps this month, to fit in with our trip.

Several days before his birthday he woke up to find a map from "The Birthday Faeries", directing him down to the train station parking lot. The map was in a series of 7 or 8 maps, each one building on the one before. He told Papa-Bug what the directions were and we drove him to the train station. At the station, he found a package with train tickets to Seattle and a Seattle Map in it. Away we went. We brought our compass. In Seattle we got several other maps - tourist maps and whatnot. We used these maps to find out where the Godmommies live, and how close they are to things we could see (like The Space Needle). When we got home I found a topographical map of the Seattle area and we compared the maps to one another - one showed a small area of Seattle, one a larger area, the road map showed a LOT more, the topo map didn't show us roads, etc.

On the train, listening to tunes, impatient to get there...

I got him a puzzle of the United States - you know the one, were each state (or almost each state) is its own piece. He has had a great time putting that together, and he is a master of basic US geography now. One evening, with friends over, we did the puzzle and marked where each person had lived - more than 14 states were covered! Our favorite related book is "The Scrambled States of America" by KK. It is a fun and silly way to learn about US geography.

I had planned some math exercises involving distance, but he did those on his own. I found him with his puzzle, tracing his finger across different routes: "North Carolina is over here and it is so far away. Minnesota is here and it is closer..." and so on. He was doing such a good job counting states, comparing size and shape, exploring distance, and so on, that I didn't feel a need to interfere with the natural math lesson happening in front of me.

One of the best projects we did was so simple. In the morning, we traced Brother-Bug's shadow with chalk on the driveway. The shadow was pointing West. Again in the afternoon we traced the shorter and North facing shadow. In the evening, the East facing shadow. It was very easy and a simple way to teach direction and the sun's movement. Unfortunately I didn't get a picture before it rained and washed our project away.

Easy map making for a 5-year old.

We made a map of our neighborhood as well. Brother-Bug went out with a camera and we took pictures of landmarks and street signs on the walk from our house to a nearby playground. I printed the pictures out and made construction paper streets. Then I let Brother-Bug figure out how the streets fit together, and where the pictures should go. With some assistance he came away with a lovely map of our neighborhood. I only wish I would have printed the pictures a little bit bigger.

Look at those piano-playing hands!

I did less this month, because we started learning piano as well, and I wanted to make sure we had enough slack around school things to accommodate piano practice and lessons. How grateful I am to my music teachers of days gone by - I am more than competent enough on the piano (as is Papa-Bug) to easily teach primer level piano at home. This is not only a financial savings, but an emotional one as well - we don't have to get to lessons, stress about practicing enough, or anything else. We just sit down and explore the piano together with gentle guidance and some pushing from a parent. As of this writing, Brother--Bug has 4 or 5 simple songs that he plays all the time. He is loving piano.

So those are the high points of our September. Of course, we read related books, found relevant websites, and all the rest. Learning to use a compass proved to be too tricky for us right now, so we will save that for another adventure. Now, on to Weather and Seasons in October! We'll be making our own barometer, among other things.

Daily Haiku: October 5th

Dark plums are drying,
Scents suggest future sweetness,
Tasty prunes this winter.

Daily Haiku: October 4th

Pressed leaves and pumpkins,
Cider, mists, sweaters, mushroom hunts...
How I love Autumn!

Mindful Monday: Creating A Laundry Design

Laundry is the mountain of mountains - the Everest that I seem to almost get to, and never quite climb to the top. Part of the reason it is such an issue for our house is that there is no good place to fold laundry. It's a Major Chore, right? All the other Major Chores have a place - dishes have sinks and dishwashers, washing the laundry has a designated space, there's a corner for the broom and vacuum to hang out when not in use, and so on. But not the unfolded laundry. Some people use the bed, some keep it on the couch, one co-sleeping mom I know uses her crib. But these aren't solutions.

All to frequently, our couch is unusable due to Laundry Mountain. I hate it. There is an answer out there. I just need to think about it. I need to think as carefully and thoughtfully as I did when I re-did the errands. Now is the perfect moment. Daisy Dog likes to sleep on piles of clean laundry, so I have no choice but to keep it off the couch. Papa-Bug made this wonderful folding table in our tiny laundry room - plenty of clearance for the dirty laundry sorter underneath, room on top to keep clean laundry and to fold it.

A place for clean laundry, made of recycled materials. I love my husband.

Who: Me (and the family as applicable)
What: Create a plan to keep the clean laundry flowing to its proper place...dressers come to mind.
Why: This is my Everest of housekeeping. I want to figure it out.
How: Watch the laundry dance, where it works and where it doesn't. Make a plan and implement said plan.

I can't tackle the "how" in a more detailed way right now - first I have to do some thinking and unraveling of the mountain. I'll keep you posted.

Daily Haiku: October 3rd

Each day stretches long,
Made of breath and empty moments,
Soon to overflow.

Simple Saturday: The Toy Clean Out

I cleared out the play room last weekend, and have been watching the kids at play in their space since. The pleasure they have had in their space has been amazing to me, yet not surprising. I know that getting rid of excess always feels good for most people, and my kids are no different from me on that attribute.

It was necessary that something drastic change in their room to make space for the refurbished kitchen set my dad made when I was little. I wanted the set in there partly because it's is a beautiful (if ragged after years of play) handmade wooden kitchen that their Grandad created. I have wonderful memories of feasts and fantasies passing through that kitchen while my sister and I played. Additionally I wanted it available so that the Little Bugs could have access to some of that deep, creative play that happen with such a toy.

So I seized the opportunity. The kitchen set was almost ready - after many years of storage it needed some touch ups. The kids went over to my mom's house to help her finish and I tackled their toys.

It was not as big a job as I had anticipated. It was reassuring to know that we have done a good job of keeping a low-ish number of toys coming in the house. But still.

I used the Simplicity Parenting guidelines for clearing space - as I could remember them in the moment of cleaning. I altered them somewhat to fit best with my family's needs and desires.

I got rid of...

Part of the thrift store donation.

Duplicates - when we had two VW bug toys, two memory games, eight stuffed bears, and so on.

Broken toys - trucks missing tires, dolls missing heads, etcetera.

Random Gimcracks - fake teeth from the doctor, extra bouncy balls from a quarter machine, little animal shaped erasers from a past Easter party... You know what little stuff I'm talking about.

Stuff No One Plays With - a set of army men that had never left the box, some of those eight stuffed bears, a set of jacks, and more.

Of course, this is only a partial list. 

I kept new Birthday Presents and all the 'Cars' toys. I kept one noise-toy per kid - a special digger from Brother-Bug's God Mommies and a set of musical flowers that Sister-Bug adores.

The feeling in their room was palpable after I moved the mountain of stuff out to the car. Even though most of the toy storage us not in sight as you walk in the kids room, we could feel the difference as we entered.

All told we took about 5-6 grocery bags and one large trash bag of stuff out. This was probably around a third of the toys. The trash was trashed. The usable items I took immediately to the thrift store, so no little people saw what I was getting rid of.

When the kids got home, I steeled my nerves for sadness. After all, there were a lot less toys than they were used to. But neither has fussed at all, and the available toys are getting a lot more action. Their room is easier to clean up as well.

This has inspired me (and Papa-Bug) to strike at much of our own stuff and to tackle the present giving and receiving issue. The Holidays are just around the corner and I would hate to have all my clearing work undone by well-intentioned relatives.

Finally, I thought long an hard about including Brother-Bug in the process, but I'm glad I didn't. It would have been hard for both of us - he would have wanted to keep all the little bits of detritus that he doesn't realize I threw away. Eventually I am sure he will inventory his vehicles and find many missing, but so it goes.Without his input, I had the freedom to make choices I knew would benefit him. We told him in advance what I was going to be doing, and there were a couple of toys that he told me were really special to him - I kept those to honor his input.

For now, I'm going to enjoy the increased calm in the play room, and the little boy enjoying rediscovered toys and the new kitchen set. And mark down a major win for Simplicity.

Daily Haiku: October 1st

I luxuriate;
Soaking in my morning time,
Quietly alone.