When To Push

Brother-Bug is a cautious and fairly quiet guy. He would sit on the couch, reading to himself all day if he could. He is intensely uncomfortable in group activities and class situations. He also needs lots of encouragement do do things with his body. He is so very much in his head that active play is a huge leap for him - from thinking to moving.

I'm glad we Homeschool him so that he can do and learn within these challenges, becoming comfortable and competent at his own speed. Contradicting that is my feeling that I need to help him push his boundaries a little, help him to thrive outside his comfortable, book-lined groove.

We've tried art classes (a success for listening and following instructions) and ballet (it went okay, but it was really hard for both of us and he didn't get comfortable until his last class).

Enter swim lessons.

Brother-Bug is the shivering body on the left. He's heatedly debating with his teacher about jumping in...

I feel pretty strongly about learning to swim. Of all the activities we might choose to enroll our children in, swimming is the only one I can think of that very well might save their lives one day. Sister-Bug is also in swim lessons (of the baby, singing and splashing variety) and she loves them. The issue with her is the opposite of Brother-Bug - she won't wait to jump in. She just leaps.

But back to the reluctant child.

Know that swimming is a valuable life skill, I chose to push it. It meets the two other places I want to push a little also - group/class participation and physical activity - so it's a good deal all around.

But it's really hard to watch him. He wept through the better part of the first lesson. Papa-Bug and I watched with breaking hearts as he struggled through fear and resistance, trusting that the (vastly underpaid) young swim instructor would be gentle with our little boy's worries. We wondered if we were pushing too much. We gave him a sweet granola bar when he was done.

The second week of lessons he didn't want to go. We went anyway and he wasn't as resistant as the week before. And, wonder of wonders he did great! He even managed to blow some bubbles, which is a major accomplishment for him.

The (someday going to be) courageous swimmer...and his excellently patient teacher.

He did everything his instructors asked of him, except jumping in to the instructor's waiting hands. He didn't believe her when she promised to catch him. He jumped in holding her hands. He almost did his back floats all by himself. And we took him out for a donut afterward.

I hope he continues to flourish in these lessons, and that I continue to let him struggle just a little bit. I don't need him to be a joiner, and I don't need him to be a professional swimmer. I want him to know that he can push those boundaries - that it can be safe and even fun sometimes. And that there are occasionally donuts afterward.

Light a Candle, Say a Prayer

Today my guts are in a knot.

I got word that a dear child of my community was hit by a van and is in the ICU. Predictions are that her injuries are not life-threatening, thank all the Gods that might be listening.

This makes me doubly sure that I hug and squeeze my own sweet babies lots.

It makes me reflect on The Big Subjects.

I never imagined, when I delightedly anticipated the arrival of my son, how fraught with terror parenting actually is. Loss, sickness, accident, and catastrophe loom behind every shadow. Mostly I wend my way through our days without too much worry, but it's always there in the far back corners of my mind.

What if...

Sometimes they are just the silliest what ifs. Sometimes they are more realistic. Sometimes I see the narrow miss and my heart nearly stops. Sometimes I have to check and double check the rise and fall of that small, precious chest. Sometimes I can't sleep for dreadful dreams and imaginings.

If you are a parent you know what I am talking about.

My heart is with the parents, dear friends, in the ICU. I am praying that I am never there with any of my babies.

When I can't sleep I say grace and give thanks. Because whatever happens tomorrow, my kids and I have had today. Whatever happens in the morning, we are cuddling NOW. I hope that I can remember these moments of thankfulness when Grace might seem far away. I hope that I can remember that nothing and no one can take away my moments and memories and all the wonderful times I have already experienced as a parent.

So we pray...

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Take a moment now, before you navigate away, and say a prayer - send a wish - think a good thought - send some Grace to the parents who need it. Then go hug or kiss or text someone you are grateful for. You are so lucky.