A Question of Dignity

This is ridiculous. I generally try to keep the political off this blog, but since this is a blog about my life-choice to stay at home with my kids...

I don't want the "dignity of work", Mr. Romney. I do work - 12, 16, 18 hours a day. A lot if my job is undignified - scrubbing the toilet, begging and bribing a five-year old to clean up, or chasing a toddler around playing growling bear are not "dignified" activities.

I have made a choice for me and my family. This choice means I earn no Social Security, no 401k, I am reliant on my husband's sick leave and health insurance. I have chosen to live at a lower income level, by a full-time adult salary, because I love my work and I believe that what I am doing is important.

This has nothing to do with access to day care. There are many wonderful and qualified and affordable day care options in my area. This has nothing to do with my ability to find work. I have a college degree, I am credentialed in a couple of fields, and would be willing to put my shoulder to the wheel.

I'm an educated, liberal, feminist. I'm not making this choice out of a religious or similar bias, though many women do and should be able to. I know many women like myself who believe deeply in having a parent at home. I know many employed women who envy my ability to stay home and who wish they could afford to "not work". I know many working women who love their jobs and for whom staying home would cause frustration and boredom. I know many women who struggle daily to do what they believe is best for their families, regardless of their state of employment.

I don't need "a job" and I don't need the "dignity of work". I love what I do and I have plenty of work, thank you Mr. Romney.

Mothers (parents) - those who stay home or those who work - need their lives and the choices they make in those lives to be supported. We do not need anyone, least of all some rich and smarmy politician, to treat our lives like they are not worth anything unless we are gainfully employed by the economic machine. That is an indignity, Mr. Romney. We do not need anyone pushing some "work requirement" upon us, making lives already difficult even more so. I do believe that I am living my life, celebrating my freedom, and pursuing that which makes me happy...and don't you dare try to take that away from me. I'm not putting my two-year old in day care, even of you foot the bill. How dare you treat my life choice as something undignified?

I - and parents making hard choices every day, all over this country of ours - need the awesome work we do, raising and caring for the future voters of America, to be treated with dignity.

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Update: I do realize that this quote is a snippet and lacks broader context. I also realize that Romney is not actually talking about me. He's talking about poor women who utilize the welfare system. For the record, I don't think that I am any different, better, or more deserving than any other woman who is also making tough decisions for her family. I believe that everyone deserves the dignity of choice - and that means not being forced to work OR forced to stay home. I believe that people should be treated equally and that an attack on a family on welfare is an attack on my family.

Housekeeping Week - Tuesday

On Tuesday I have to be at our food co-op for my volunteer shift by 4:30. I also have to get dinner in the slow-cooker so Papa-Bug and the kids can eat dinner easily while I'm gone. I get home right before bedtime, just enough time to feed myself and hear how the evening was. So I need the Tuesday chore to be pretty simple and one that won't be really noticed if I miss it.

Tuesday is the day we clean the Playroom.

To get it just good enough, we
*pick up the toys off the floor.
*make the bed.
*put the laundry away.

If we are all feeling cooperative (and it wasn't too big a mess to start with!) we also, ultimately, can
*sweep and wash the floor.
*get the toys put in their proper homes.
*wash the sheets (since the kids sleep with us, I don't worry about that so much).



Also on Tuesday I water the houseplants. It's not a big deal, so I easily forget to do it - unless it is on the schedule.

Having the playroom clean on Tuesday means that Papa-Bug has a nice play space for his evening with the kids. And, like I opened with, Tuesday can get a little crazy, so this is a pretty mellow thing to get done.

Another aspect of the kids room that I recently added is the style of their toy storage. I found that a local ice cream parlor gives the sugar cone boxes away. These make for cheerful, standardized storage. The lid is perfect for writing what belongs in the box - and even if the contents are a jumble, the outside looks tidy.

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Housekeeping schedule benefit! Having a small thing, like watering the plants, gives me something I can do first thing and feel accomplished right away in the morning.

Housekeeping Week - Monday

I have been writing so enthusiastically about the functionality of my housekeeping schedule that I thought I would go through it day by day this week, detailing the how and why of each day's chore.

Monday is the Living Room Day.

On this day I do a through clean-up of our living/dining area. Each chore has a list of 'good enough' tasks and 'ultimate' tasks. Good enough is what I need to get done to feel comfortable in the room.

For the living room, that is
*picking up everything on the floor.
*sweeping.
*clearing surfaces.
*tidying the shoes.

If I have a busy day (like two weeks ago when a friend and I made 7 gallons if applesauce on a Monday) I know that all I must get done are those four simple tasks.

If I have a little extra time, I can tackle any of the items of the ultimate list;
*dusting.
*wash the floors.
*clean the mirror.
*excavate under the couch.

I set this chore on Monday, because after a busy weekend (in which we probably didn't pick up much) the Living Room really needs some attention. Also, as the primary room we use (no family room or den in this house), getting it clean first thing in the week sets the tone for the next several days.

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Housekeeping schedule benefit! Since Brother-Bug has gotten used to the cleaning schedule he is easier to cajole into helping and understands which chores I will be involved in and so interrupts less while I get them done.

How To Make Vacuum Powder

This is one of my favorite housekeeping items. I learned the recipe from Gina McGarry about a decade ago, and have used it on my carpets ever since.

It is easiest to make in a food processor, but a blender can work too.


Mix equal parts arrowroot powder and baking soda. Add 1/2 part borax and about 1/2-1/4 part dried lavender or other scented herb. Today I combined lavender and catnip. Dried lemon peels would be nice too.

Run the processor until everything is well combined. For extra scent (as well as germ killing power) add 10-20 drops of a related essential oil - lavender, lemon, etc. Run again. Store in an air tight container.

Sprinkling the carpet and our toes.

When it is time to vacuum, sprinkle a light coat over the carpet - this is something Sister-Bug lives to help with. Allow the dust to settle for ten minutes or so. Vacuum the room.

The oils of the herbs will scent the room - which can minimize airborne bacteria - and the powder deodorizes the carpet, kills germs, and protects against fleas. And it makes it really easy to be sure you have vacuumed thoroughly...

Preserve Us

Everything is ripe all at once. Peaches on Sunday, now tomatoes, Chantrelles, and applesauce in the next week. If I miss some of my regular posts it's because of a canning onslaught taking over my kitchen.




Keep your eye of the Canning Count in the sidebar there if you want to know what I'm up to...

Organizing My Chores

Running a house is incredibly complicated, with myriad details to constantly track. Add the kids, the homeschooling, and personal/family/commnity pursuits to that and it's a wonder my head doesn't blow off.

One thing I found very effective in our last home was to organize my chores by day. I got the idea from Laura Ingalls Wilder, who washed on Monday, ironed on Tuesday, and so on. The first time I tested it out, it really worked. The system was derailed occasionally, but whenever I could pull it together, knowing what I had to get done each day really helped me get it done so that I could do other stuff.

Here's how I make a Housekeeping Schedule:

Step One - Walk around the house, thinking about each room, each chore, what you like about cleaning and what you dislike. How clean do you need each room to be to feel comfortable versus how clean would you love to have it be, if you had all the time in the world? Make lists.

Step Two - Pull out your weekly schedule. Note which days are busier than others and which days you will not be at home as much. Note when you usually go grocery shopping, when dinner runs late, or any other weekly details that rock your world.


Step Three - Start assigning chores to days. I break mine down room by room, tackling one room each day. This works for me because my house is small, and in a couple of places I combine rooms (bedroom & hall, etc.).Move the chores around the week, envisioning when in the day you will do the chore, who will help you - if anyone, what it looks like if the chore gets missed that day, what might get in the way of completing that chore, and so on.


Step Four - Find a way to display your new schedule for yourself. Write it on a white board, put it in your calendar or phone, put it somewhere that you can refer to easily.

I added some new steps this time around, to make it more sustainable. I divided my chore list per room into two different headings - the bare minimum of what I need to get done to keep the room livable and what I would ultimately like to get accomplished. For example, I need to at least clean the old food out of the refrigerator each week, but I would really like to wipe it clean if I have time. I can choose to do the minimum, do one thing from the ultimate list, or go for the gold and really do it all, depending on the day.

The other thing I did differently was how I formatted it. Usually I just note it up on the white board - which room, which day - and try to keep track of it. This time, since I had put the time in to figure out what was "good enough" and how much more I would ultimately like to do, I decided to make it a little more formal. I typed up the list for each room and printed them out. Then I covered them in clear tape and put magnets on the back. Each day is its own magnet, so I can rearrange them when necessary. They stick to my white board, so I can make notes around them if I need to.




I can add specifics for the day ("Order flea stuff") and check in with the dinner menu which I write above .



What I find when I do this is that I can let a lot more go each day because I know when I'm going to do the chore. Laundry all over the kids room? It will get picked up on Tuesday, so I don't have to sweat it on Friday. If I miss a week, I know I have missed only one week - I don't have to search my mind for the last time I think I cleaned the bathroom or washed the kitchen floor. If I don't dust this week, I can prioritize it the following week.

I add extra chores (like frequent living room pick ups or watering the plants) in bold at the bottom of the list. I try to keep the Kitchen Day on the day before we grocery shop, so I can have a cleaned out fridge to put the groceries into when I get home, as well as knowing what is in the fridge when I am at the grocery store. I don't have the daily chores (laundry, cleaning the kitchen, parenting tasks, etc.) on the schedule. I try to keep this specifically for general house upkeep. The other tasks find their time on other "To Do" lists.

That's what it looks like - my schedule of the week. And speaking of the schedule, I think it is time to go clean the living room and mop the floor!